Growing Up With Tooth & Nail Records: A Summary Filled With Links

Tooth & Nail Records is releasing a limited edition documentary film and photo book to celebrate twenty years of existence within the independent music scene.  I remember when I heard about the label for the first time.  I had a friend in high school named, Justice.  He handed me a demo tape before school one day and said his band had signed to a label called Tooth & Nail.  I had no idea who he was talking about, and I had never heard of his band.  Some of you might remember Bloodshed.  That was him.  

I had a friend, Josh, who really pushed me into the T&N catalogue.  He showed me a band called MxPx, and I loved them instantaneously.  We used to listen to the “Pokinatcha” cassette while driving from Fallbrook to Oceanside [to surf] nearly every day.  I think the both of us went collector crazy from that moment on.  Rather than describing how each band played a role in my life, I’ll just rattle off a list and will link the band name to a YouTube video.

The Crucified  -  Plankeye  -  Starflyer 59  -  Ghoti Hook  - Value Pac  -  Joy Electric  -  Driver 8  -  Ninety Pound Wuss  -  Strongarm  -  Joe Christmas  -  Puller  -  The O.C. Supertones  -  Stavesacre  -  Slick Shoes  -  The Juliana Theory  -  Project 86 

Josh and I would go to all the Tooth & Nail shows.  We’d drive to Orange County, L.A., or wherever a T&N show came through town.  We went to all the festivals.  I still have most of the vinyl, CDs, and posters from those shows.  

I am honored to have been able to witness, and grow with this particular label and its artists.  I am excited to see the documentary and book.  For me, it will be a large bundle of material filled with a great dose of good memories.

I hope this brought back a memory or two for you.

An Open Letter to Myself: The Story of a Tired Parent

Dear Parents,

You are heroes.  You work a full time job, maybe even two, and you return to your house where you immerse yourself in the most important role of your life.  The life of a parent.  You provide shelter, food, clothing, love, and care.  You discipline, you lead, and you do the best you can to provide moral and biblical direction.  You change diapers, resolve temper tantrums, break up sibling 300'esque [movie] type battles over a piece of paper or a crayon, and at the end of the day, you wash it off with a shower, swallow it down with an adult beverage, or read it away through the latest, best-selling fiction novel.

You know that appreciation, if any, will come several decades down the road when your kids finally realize that you were doing the best you could.  If you're lucky, you're married to your best friend.  A man or woman that helps you and encourages you in every way.  It certainly helps.  Because this is the kind of challenge that was meant specifically for a team of two dedicated people: mom and dad.

And some of you; you do it alone.  Everything still applies.  You are a true warrior.  Making it all happen in any way you can.

With that being said, let me offer a word of advice.  And I direct this toward myself as much as any other.  Let down your guard.  Take off the game face when you're around me.  I need to know you are real.  I need to know that you are tired, just like me! 

Show me a parent who doesn't feel like a failure in one way or another, and I will find you a Frozen unicorn with Tinkerbell wings.  And if a parent tells you that they are flaw-free, ditch their "friendship" and find a pair of parents who are willing to tell you that they struggle from time to time.

Cut yourself some slack!  You stuck around.  You didn't leave.  You listen to your wife.  You listen to your husband.  You are an example of love, and a Christ-like depiction of what a marriage should look like.  You love your children and you show it.  You apologize when you are wrong.  You pray, asking God to work on problem areas in your life.  You lay your issues at His feet.  This is what your children see.  This is the example they will mimic when they mature and make families of their own.  All the rest is water under the bridge if you truly commit to bettering yourself every moment of every day.

I suppose my point is this:

I know you're doing the very best that you can.  If you weren't doing the best you can, then I'm sure you'd hear about it from those you love or the proper local authorities.  Everybody has flaws.  They obviously become very apparent when children come bouncing into the picture.  But you have to know that I am more inspired by those of you who said "this is hard," than by those of you who said "I've got this thing nailed down."

Lets send some good, God-fearing kids into this world.  Heaven knows they need it.  

Sincerely,

Steven

   

My Treehouse in the Shire: A Momentary Escape from Reality

I think my mind wanders more during the busy season.  For me, this usually means that I am in school, working a full time job, and being a full time parent + husband.  I suppose my mind would rather daydream than figure out statistics.  That’s all of us though, right?

Lately, I have been thinking about how much time I spend doing things other than spending time with my family.  I think about how much time I spend stuck on the freeway in traffic or how much time I spend at work.  I think about how much time I spend studying for school, or stressing about my assignments.  I think about the money my wife and I must make to keep everything moving forward while staying out of the red.

When I think about all of the time I spend in the pursuit of superficial things, I have to admit it’s a little depressing.  If all of these responsibilities just disappeared, how much more time would I be able to spend with my kids and my wife?  How much more time would I be able to nurture great relationships with all of them?

Bear with me.  This is MY world for a brief moment in time.  

My daydreams show me (us) living in a Swiss Family Robinson’esque treehouse in some desolate forest, away from the rest of the world.  Or maybe one of the little Hobbit holes from the Shire.  We’d live off the land.  Harvest our own crops, bring home fresh game for the stove.  No cell phones, no bills.  No cars, no gas.  No crime, no locks.    No boys who would court my daughters...

I hate the idea of turning my children loose in this world.  There!  I said it! 

I am already heartbroken for them.  I don’t want them to experience pain, defeat, loss, suffering, ridicule, and all the rest of the bad we are so good at providing others.

And then I come to.  I wake up.  I snap back to reality.

I’ve never been one for pity-parties.  I’m certainly a lot tougher than that.  We buckle in for the ride.  We rub a little dirt on it.  Put duct tape over the wound.  Crack our fingers and we’re right back at it.  Because that’s what we do.

I’ve got all the answers.  That’s what I tell myself.  Funny thing is, I am terrible at implementing my own advice into my life.

I am sure most of you can relate.

I love thinking about these things.  These places.  My little make-believe realities.  They are like mini-vacations throughout the day.  I find comfort there.  My family is safe. 

Here is my reality.  My log house in the woods exists.  And I’ll be there with my family, eventually.  We all get there one way or the other.  Where you at?

Thanks for listening to a little randomness. 

Steven

“He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”  Revelation 21 v. 4

“But, as it is written, “What no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined, what God has prepared for those who love him..” 1 Corinthians 2 v. 9

Why Ferguson, Missouri Matters: The Story of a LEO Hung Out to Dry

This was written by a FOP rep named Sean McCauley.  I tried to put it in better words, but couldn't.
Thank You, Mr. McCauley:

I thought that I had flushed the Ferguson situation out of my system with my last post, but a two hour flight gave me more time with my thoughts. I have purposefully remained silent over the last week because the facts of the case in Ferguson were still unclear, though the original accounts certainly seemed suspect. I knew that it would take time for accurate information to gradually flow out to determine what happened that afternoon. The case will proceed, as it should, through a formal investigation with an ultimate decision made through legal process.

For those of you who know me and now what I do, you probably have figured out long ago where I stand on this issue. As an attorney, I have handled hundreds of officer involved shooting over the last 14 years. I am not a police defensive tactics expert or a police psychologist, but I can tell you from experience I know what officers go through during and after an OIS. It is a trying experience. None of them go to work hoping to get involved in a shooting. And none of them are the same after the fact. They will tell you that they are okay, but, in the end, they are human beings and taking a life, however justified, leaves an indelible mark on one’s soul. They are never truly the same afterwards.

Officer Wilson is going through much the same situation, but under the microscope of the nation and that makes the situation for him exponentially worse. It is something no one should have to go through. While the uninformed and inexperienced debate what he could have done or should have done, Officer Wilson is left with only that he had to do. Assuming that the facts that have come out are true, and I have no reason to doubt them, at that fateful moment when he chose to fire, there was no hate in his heart, no racism coursing through his mind, no macho desire to take a life, the only thing there was fear. Fear that he would not see his family again, fear that he would die right there in the middle of the street, fear that his last though would be “Should I fire?” His entire life flashed before him in that instant, his vision tunneled, his body reverted to his training and he made the decision- a decision that likely saved his life, and one that most of us will never have to make. And now he is left to deal with the aftermath of that decision.

And he feels alone. He feels abandoned. And why wouldn’t he. Elected officials and the media have prejudged the situation from as far as Martha’s Vineyard and as close as Ferguson itself. Governor Nixon and others, who have supported officers in the past, have jumped to the politically expedient side of the issue because they seek higher office or hope to retain their current one. They have judged the situation based on the account of someone who has every reason to lie. They have done exactly what they ridicule the police for doing, they have judged the situation based not on the facts, but on personal prejudice. In this case, it is not the color of the man’s skin, but rather the color of his uniform. I am a liberal and most of my clients question my political persuasion. After the experience of the last several days, I questioned it myself. I always believed that my side, for the most part, stood on the side that supports the constitution and our legal system, the side that supports innocent until proven guilty, the side that supports the bill of rights, the side that supports factual investigations in its pursuit of justice. But the reality is they only support one thing.

Themselves.

But Darren rest assured you are not alone. You will not be abandoned. Because when all others run, when they walk away from what’s right to protect their own self- interest, when they stand in front of a camera to score political points, when they promote a self-aggrandizing agenda, there’s only one thing left. And that is the thin blue line. Because in reality the only thing that officers can truly rely on is each other. Others mock it, call it corrupt, but this is situation illustrates why it exists. And that line will not fade. It will not shrink. It will not disappear. And behind that thin blue line and the men that make it up, is the Fraternal Order of Police. We all got your six Darren, and we are not going anywhere until the truth wins out.

END

+++++++

Supplement:  Steven Press

As of today, 1,047 citizens have donated $40,145 toward Officer Darren Wilson's expenses during his leave from the department.  This does not include the sale of support t-shirts at $18-20 per shirt.  Over 1,000 of these shirts have already been sold and the proceeds will benefit Officer Wilson and his family.

Please drop by the Support Officer Darren Wilson site, and show your support!  

Thanks!

Steven

Pornography: The Story of An Overused "Erase History" Button

"Never before in the history of telecommunications media in the United States has so much indecent (and obscene) material been so easily accessible by so many minors in so many American homes with so few restrictions."

                                - U.S. Department of Justice

The title might have made a few, or all of you blush.  I think that might be a good thing.  There is no doubt that this issue must mosh its way to the forefront.  Pornography, and porn addiction are a cancer within society.  It eats away at marriages, and sets a subconscious bar of perverted expectations for future relationships.  Not to mention the biblical implications related to an adulterous mindset and the personal turmoil suffered by a large percentage of the actors behind the camera.

Before I continue, I think it is important to point out a set of recent numbers related to pornography consumption (Research collected by Covenant Eyes):

* Men are 543% more likely to look at porn than females.

* Those who have ever committed adultery are 218% more likely to look at porn.

* Those who are happily married are 61% less likely to look at porn.

* Those with teen children at home are 45% less likely to look at porn.

* Regular church attenders are 26% less likely to look at porn than non-attenders, but those self-identified as “fundamentalists” are 91% more likely to look at porn.

** After an analysis of more than one million hits to Google’s mobile search sites, more than 1 in 5 searches are for pornography on mobile devices.  By 2015, mobile adult content and services are expected to reach $2.8 billion, mobile adult subscriptions will reach nearly $1 billion, and mobile adult video on tablets will triple worldwide.

*** More than half of boys and nearly a third of girls see their first pornographic images before they turn 13. In a survey of hundreds of college students, 93% of boys and 62% of girls said they were exposed to pornography before they turned 18. In the same survey, 83% of boys and 57% of girls said they had seen images of group sex online.

Finally, marriage:

The American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers reports that 56% of divorce cases involve one party having “an obsessive interest in pornographic websites.”

According to numerous studies, prolonged exposure to pornography leads to:

* a diminished trust between intimate couples

* the belief that promiscuity is the natural state

* cynicism about love or the need for affection between sexual partners

* the belief that marriage is sexually confining

* a lack of attraction to family and child-raising

We can’t let this issue remain as a festering sore in the dusty corners of our intimate relationships.  And we cannot continue to support the producers of these types of films by buying their products, or visiting their websites.  The heartache and turmoil associated with this addiction is not worth the time you took to consume the product.

I can speak of this issue first hand, as I have been a part of the consumer statistic.  Nothing good comes from pornography.  And nothing can destroy a relationship/marriage faster.

Right now, I’d like to introduce you to Madyson Marquette.  I heard her speak at my church a few months back and learned that she was involved in the porn industry as an actor in Los Angeles.  Her story hit home with me because I was bouncing around Hollywood, Santa Monica, and Burbank [recording our record] around the same time she was being trafficked through the industry.  

I think it is important that we hear Madyson's story.  Especially those of us who are guilty, or have been guilty of consuming pornographic material.  Anyone who has been there knows that the actors become nameless, and faceless.  They are merely there to serve a murky purpose in our own lives.  We have to remember that the actors are sons and daughters.  Fathers and mothers.  They’ve got a soul worth saving.  We all do.

In the end, we come to the understanding that none, not even those who you might consider the “worst,” are exempt from God’s forgiveness, love, and grace.  Matthew 11 v. 28 says, “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.”  The verse is not referring to a select few, or those who might be “better” than others.  The verse emphasizes "all."

Do yourself a favor and pick up a copy of Madyson’s book.  Stop by her Facebook page and say hi.  Share your own story.  Like, and share this article if you're down to support the cause.  Bring awareness to this issue in any way you can.

I have included a few links here for your convenience.  The following is a brief intro (By Madyson Marquette - "My Father's Daughter - Memoir of a Porn Star"):

***Every little girl dreams of growing up and being someone special. Some want to be a princess, some dream of their wedding day, and some even dream of being the first woman president. I, on the other hand had very different dreams.

I dreamed of surviving another night with my mom and dad.

I dreamed of having a different mom and dad.

I dreamed of growing up and being on my own so I did not have to endure the life I knew as a little girl.

I never intended to go into the adult film industry.

I never dreamed of being sold for money without my consent.

And yet, that’s exactly what happened.

So here begins my journey. It is one that started with survival, death, heartbreak, drugs, money, sex, and lies… but led to restoration, healing, forgiveness, and an unconditional love so unimaginable it is sometimes disbelieved when spoken of.

But it’s real. Oh, so real.***

Madyson’s Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Madyson-Marquette/723805694328953

Purchase Madyson’s Book: http://madysonmarquette.org

Check out the Stats: http://www.covenanteyes.com

Utilize the Resources: http://www.xxxchurch.com

Watch Brock Lawley’s Commentary: 

   

Appetite for a Soundtrack: Nevermind. Your Playlist is Your Legacy.

There is a scene in one of my top favorite movies, High Fidelity, where Dick walks into Rob’s apartment as Rob is rearranging his record collection.  Dick asks Rob how he is organizing the records.  Chronologically?  No.  Alphabetically?  Nope.

Autobiographically.

Profound.  Maybe even genius.  Why?  Because Rob must remember that in order to find the song “Landslide,” by Fleetwood Mac, he would have to recall that he bought the record for someone else in the Summer of 1983 and he didn’t give it to them for personal reasons [loosely quoted – High Fidelity].  Eat your heart out, Scrabble. 

Some might say that this peculiar way of organizing one small section of life is ridiculous.  I would argue that our memories, whether you are an avid music connoisseur or not, are tied up in songs.  For those of us who live and breathe music, there are songs in existence that are essentially the soundtrack for life-changing moments.  So the sentimentality wrapped into these tunes are scrapbook-like.  Smothered in memories.  And I’ll be honest with you.  I love it, whether the memories were good, or bad.

I posted a Richard Marx song on a social media account the other day, and a good friend of mine, Jeff, was able to rattle off exactly where he was and what he was doing when that song [Should’ve Known Better] was big on the radio.  This reveals the true power of music.  Who needs time travel when you’ve got your record collection? 

I have always felt the presence of great memories [and BAD] when the stylus touches wax.  I wanted to share an example, so I meandered down to my record collection to peruse for a moment or two.  

Example 1:  Bloodshed – “The Soft Spoken Words of Fallbrook”  -  7”

There was a kid named Justice who I hung out with on the planter in front of the principal’s office at Fallbrook High during my sophomore year of high school.  I was really starting to get into the idea of forming my own band.  I remember Justice used to say that he was in a band called Bloodshed and they were signed with Tooth and Nail records.  At the time, I had no idea who they were.  And I had no idea who the label was.  Very soon thereafter, I discovered that Tooth and Nail held several of my favorite bands on their roster.  This 7” reminds me of those times hangin’ out on the planter at school.  Justice:  If you’re reading this, I hope you are well!

Example 2:  Petra – “On Fire” -  12” 

I had to find Christian alternatives to Guns N’ Roses/Metallica [metal and rock n’ roll in general] because my parents didn’t want me to listen to vulgar lyrics.  Petra was about the closest Christian alternative there was at the time [that I knew of].  I owned the cassette.  I used to lay on the floor in my bedroom where I would play the song “Fired Up” over and over and over.  As corny as this music was, I can still play this record all they way through and mysteriously enjoy it.

Example 3/4:  Guns N’ Roses – “Welcome to the Jungle” + “Nightrain” -  7”

            Nirvana -  “Nevermind” -  12”

I owned everything that Guns N’ Roses [and Nirvana] put out.  I used to have to hide the cassettes because mom would find them and I’d have to throw them in the garbage.  I remember that I used to hide them on my wooden bed frame along-side the mattress.  I used to listen to the cassette singles on my Walkman before falling asleep at my grandma’s house.  I always rendered the tapes useless over a short period of time.  This habit continued into the Use Your Illusion records.  Additionally, the two records, seen in the photo (above - GnR & Nirvana), were both purchased in Europe during one of our tours.  Memories on top of memories.

Final Example 5:  New Found Glory – “Sticks and Stones” – 12”

I remember sitting in a hotel room in Australia [Warped Tour Australia] with all the guys from NFG when the label sent them the edits for the “My Friends Over You” video.  The NFG guys were trying to decide which edit would be appropriate for MTV.  There was a scene in the video where the music stops and Ian farts.  The decision revolved around whether or not the video containing the fart would run on-air.  So whenever I see this album or hear “My Friends Over You,” I am reminded of this particular night and all the fun we had trying to figure it all out.

I know you get the point.  There are songs that transport me back to Homecoming and others that sit me down in the hospital room where Ivy [my daughter] was born.  There are songs that put me in the middle of a SOMA mosh pit and others that put me on a stage in front of 35,000 people.  There are songs from bands who I have met that were pricks, and others from bands who were as down to earth as the next guy.  There are songs that blew the speakers out of the first truck I owned, and others that fueled some great times with the best of friends.

I wish I had the time to stop and write it all down.  I know I’d fill the pages of a thousand Moleskins. 

Give the gift of music to your children.  Make it so their playlist is nothing but a massive compilation of scrapbook pages filled with the best memories you could muster.

Thanks for sharing a little time with me here today.

Steven

We Are Impenetrable: To the Death

I wrote an extensive research paper last semester that covered the topic of pain as it relates to divorce.  My goal was to show that divorce, or more importantly, the absence of a mother or father [single parent household], places a heavy burden on the shoulders of each child.  As I read through the research, I found that the issue of residual pain was often skirted and other issues fell in line. 

For instance, many of those interviewed indicated that their parents' divorce was “the best for both of them” because the household became a poisonous dwelling.  Many indicated that they felt indifference when their parents split and felt no residual pain as the years passed by.

There is no doubt that unhappy marriages cause just as much damage as an actual parental split.  But I’d like to go ahead and throw up the “BS” sign if a large portion of the interviewees say that they feel no residual pain.

Every single person I know who has fought through a broken home has readily admitted that they have been affected in one way or another.  There is pain.  There is anger.  There is hurt.  And just like anything else, we bury it all under our defenses as each new day presents itself.

Countless songs have been written, diary entries penned, and words of anger thrown.

So why do many others deny the hurt that has to exist?

As I was thinking about writing this today, I couldn’t help but remember that human beings are experts at masking pain.  If I’m having a bad day, you’re not going to see it on my face.  I’m hiding it.  I’m a pro.  I can’t afford to let you see it and I don’t feel like explaining it.  

C.S. Lewis wrote a book entitled, “The Problem of Pain.”  I’ve always found great comfort in his writing.  He states, “Mental pain is less dramatic than physical pain, but it is more common and also more hard to bear. The frequent attempt to conceal mental pain increases the burden: it is easier to say 'My tooth is aching' than to say 'My heart is broken.”

Such is the modern world.  We refuse to communicate.  And communication is what we need the most (but with whom?).

Lewis goes on to say, “We can ignore even pleasure. But pain insists upon being attended to. God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: it is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world.” 

I always see a reminder in this statement.  Community is necessary, and I love the people who choose to listen to me wholeheartedly.  But for some reason, it is hard for me to release all that I’ve got when I know that the recipient of my conversation is just as broken as I am.

I’ve never been good at talking to God.  But I know that He hears me perfectly and He is perfect.  I know He listen intently, and His love is unbreakable. 

 

Essentially, I am reminded that all are in need of a Saviour.  I hope that this might be a reminder for you today as well. 

Thanks for listening.

Steven

Watch: Stay Together for the Kids