An Open Letter to Myself: The Story of a Tired Parent

Dear Parents,

You are heroes.  You work a full time job, maybe even two, and you return to your house where you immerse yourself in the most important role of your life.  The life of a parent.  You provide shelter, food, clothing, love, and care.  You discipline, you lead, and you do the best you can to provide moral and biblical direction.  You change diapers, resolve temper tantrums, break up sibling 300'esque [movie] type battles over a piece of paper or a crayon, and at the end of the day, you wash it off with a shower, swallow it down with an adult beverage, or read it away through the latest, best-selling fiction novel.

You know that appreciation, if any, will come several decades down the road when your kids finally realize that you were doing the best you could.  If you're lucky, you're married to your best friend.  A man or woman that helps you and encourages you in every way.  It certainly helps.  Because this is the kind of challenge that was meant specifically for a team of two dedicated people: mom and dad.

And some of you; you do it alone.  Everything still applies.  You are a true warrior.  Making it all happen in any way you can.

With that being said, let me offer a word of advice.  And I direct this toward myself as much as any other.  Let down your guard.  Take off the game face when you're around me.  I need to know you are real.  I need to know that you are tired, just like me! 

Show me a parent who doesn't feel like a failure in one way or another, and I will find you a Frozen unicorn with Tinkerbell wings.  And if a parent tells you that they are flaw-free, ditch their "friendship" and find a pair of parents who are willing to tell you that they struggle from time to time.

Cut yourself some slack!  You stuck around.  You didn't leave.  You listen to your wife.  You listen to your husband.  You are an example of love, and a Christ-like depiction of what a marriage should look like.  You love your children and you show it.  You apologize when you are wrong.  You pray, asking God to work on problem areas in your life.  You lay your issues at His feet.  This is what your children see.  This is the example they will mimic when they mature and make families of their own.  All the rest is water under the bridge if you truly commit to bettering yourself every moment of every day.

I suppose my point is this:

I know you're doing the very best that you can.  If you weren't doing the best you can, then I'm sure you'd hear about it from those you love or the proper local authorities.  Everybody has flaws.  They obviously become very apparent when children come bouncing into the picture.  But you have to know that I am more inspired by those of you who said "this is hard," than by those of you who said "I've got this thing nailed down."

Lets send some good, God-fearing kids into this world.  Heaven knows they need it.  

Sincerely,

Steven

   

My Treehouse in the Shire: A Momentary Escape from Reality

I think my mind wanders more during the busy season.  For me, this usually means that I am in school, working a full time job, and being a full time parent + husband.  I suppose my mind would rather daydream than figure out statistics.  That’s all of us though, right?

Lately, I have been thinking about how much time I spend doing things other than spending time with my family.  I think about how much time I spend stuck on the freeway in traffic or how much time I spend at work.  I think about how much time I spend studying for school, or stressing about my assignments.  I think about the money my wife and I must make to keep everything moving forward while staying out of the red.

When I think about all of the time I spend in the pursuit of superficial things, I have to admit it’s a little depressing.  If all of these responsibilities just disappeared, how much more time would I be able to spend with my kids and my wife?  How much more time would I be able to nurture great relationships with all of them?

Bear with me.  This is MY world for a brief moment in time.  

My daydreams show me (us) living in a Swiss Family Robinson’esque treehouse in some desolate forest, away from the rest of the world.  Or maybe one of the little Hobbit holes from the Shire.  We’d live off the land.  Harvest our own crops, bring home fresh game for the stove.  No cell phones, no bills.  No cars, no gas.  No crime, no locks.    No boys who would court my daughters...

I hate the idea of turning my children loose in this world.  There!  I said it! 

I am already heartbroken for them.  I don’t want them to experience pain, defeat, loss, suffering, ridicule, and all the rest of the bad we are so good at providing others.

And then I come to.  I wake up.  I snap back to reality.

I’ve never been one for pity-parties.  I’m certainly a lot tougher than that.  We buckle in for the ride.  We rub a little dirt on it.  Put duct tape over the wound.  Crack our fingers and we’re right back at it.  Because that’s what we do.

I’ve got all the answers.  That’s what I tell myself.  Funny thing is, I am terrible at implementing my own advice into my life.

I am sure most of you can relate.

I love thinking about these things.  These places.  My little make-believe realities.  They are like mini-vacations throughout the day.  I find comfort there.  My family is safe. 

Here is my reality.  My log house in the woods exists.  And I’ll be there with my family, eventually.  We all get there one way or the other.  Where you at?

Thanks for listening to a little randomness. 

Steven

“He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”  Revelation 21 v. 4

“But, as it is written, “What no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined, what God has prepared for those who love him..” 1 Corinthians 2 v. 9