I collected my first tattoo around 1999. I had been in the band for a very short
period of time and felt that the next natural step in the right direction would
be to secure a music themed tattoo.
I suppose I should be talking about my first tattoo since this is my
first entry but I simply wasn’t in the mood to write about the subject
matter. So, instead, I am going to
cover my Love/Heartbreak pieces.
Most of my work has come from one of my best friends, Chris Winn, out of Los Angeles, California.
The four pieces I will be speaking of
today were amongst the first tattoos I received. All of these pieces hold a vast collection of memories. None represent a single instance or
experience.
Love and Heartbreak: Birds and Defeated Birds
I know I have spoken of these things before so I’ll try not
to beat a dead bush.
“Love” and heartbreak were ever-present in my younger years. I think I had been involved in a few
relationships where I put forth a lot of effort and it never seemed to pay
off. I remember being overly nice,
probably to the point of being annoying.
Cards, flowers, surprises, dates, presents, poems, and on and on and
on. In retrospect, I think I was
an overachiever because I wanted someone to adore me in return. Unrelenting adoration (from a girl) was
something I had never experienced and I felt that this feeling would complete
me in some way. I remember one of
those relationships ended in infidelity (on her end), and the rest just seemed
to dissolve for whatever reason.
I remember, as time went on, I lost interest in putting
forth a sincere effort to be the nice guy. I adopted the attitude that “nice guys finish last” and
began to enter relationships without putting much on the line. If I didn’t throw all my cards on the
table, then I’d still have a better hand when the girl decided to fold. My losses would be minimal. In my mind, at the time, I had already
suffered enough.
This season brought about a newly found confidence and
cockiness that I had never held before. It probably helped that I was in a band that was doing
really well at the time. The
increase in confidence brought about a whole different caliber of women into my
life. While some might have been
jealous or even proud that I was able to hang out with some of these people, I
found that these new relationships tended to be completely meaningless.
The temporary relationships that I entered as a cocky,
confident young man were based solely on physical attraction and Southern
California glamour. Personality
wasn’t in the back seat; it was in the trunk hidden under a blanket. The relationships existed because of
who I was or how much fun we could conjure up in Hollywood on a Saturday night.
I remember one particular evening we were hanging out at the
Skybar after we had just showcased for some majors at the Viper Room. I approached an attractive lady and
asked if I could buy her a drink.
She immediately asked me what kind of car I drove. This very instance was what drove me
away from superficial relationships.
I remember being stunned. I
told her that I drove a ’71 Ford Pinto.
Darin was unable to contain the mouthful of drink he had just swigged
and it all ended up on one of the cushions by the pool. I walked away laughing in amazement.
This particular instance was really the end of the story as
it relates to these four tattoos.
I would later go on to become a bigger screw up and then the luckiest
man on earth when I met and married my wife Heather. For those of you who follow my blogs you know of what it is
that I am speaking of.
In a nutshell:
A heart and two sparrows holding a banner containing the
word “Love.”
This tattoo represents the relationships I have taken part
in from the past. As I sit here
thinking about it, I find it funny how the definition of this word has changed
for me over time. Back then it was
something I said and thought I meant.
These days, love is something I do on a daily basis.
A broken heart and two sparrows pierced by arrows holding a
banner with the word “Heartbreak.”
One sparrow lying in a pool of blood.
This tattoo represents those same relationships that tore me
apart at the time. There is nothing
like the pain of rejection and the severe sting of loss.
Pin-up girl with a halo and angel wings holding a banner
that says “Dreams Come True.”
I have always explained this piece as “You think you meet
the girl of your dreams.”
Pin-up girl with horns, bat wings, fishnets, and a dress with flames.
I always followed up with “....and then
she stomps on your heart.” The
phrase “Sadness Prevails” can be seen over the top of her head. I respectfully borrowed this term from
a band called No Motiv. Their
record, “And the Sadness Prevails,” was my favorite at the time. If you haven’t heard it you need to
check it out.
Again, the two pin-ups are general representations of those
girls.
Until next time.
Steven
