Legalism (Spiritual Terrorism)

I have a confession to make.  I hold a strong disdain toward legalist/fundamentalist Christians who choose to shove their unsolicited opinions down the throats of the unwilling.

This is a sinful feeling on my part and I am praying for healing and direction with regards to my issues.  What I hate the most is that I let them get to me.  

Here are the reasons why:

I spent the first half of my life living in fear.  I don’t have a beautiful story to tell about asking Christ to be my savior.  My story really sucks.  I was at a Christian youth group meeting and the youth leader told us about the rapture mentioned in the book of Revelation.  He told us that if we weren’t Christians we would be left behind and would be killed for being Christians during the seven-year tribulation.  When he was through with the lecture, he asked any of us if we wanted to accept Christ as our Lord and Savior.  My hand shot up immediately.  Why?  I was scared out of my damn mind.  I didn’t want to be left behind and I surely didn’t want to be (decapitated) during the seven-year tribulation.  I was around nine or ten years old when this happened.

Ugly on the Inside

I spent the next fifteen years soaked in self-righteousness all while walking on eggshells.  I should have had a massive white board with two sections.  One section would hold tallies for all the good deeds I was responsible for.  This might include telling someone about Jesus at least once per day, sharing with my sisters, raising my hands during worship, or strategically placing my Bible in an area that was visible to the lost.  The other would hold tallies for all of the moral laws I broke on a daily basis.  This might include listening to Guns N’ Roses, watching a PG-13 movie, saying a cuss word, or missing church.  

In my mind, the tallies should offset on a daily basis otherwise God would be pissed.  My salvation would be lost and I’d never attain it again.  If I broke one of the commandments, I would simply have to work harder the next day.

I spent about fifteen years saturated in fear.  I was petrified that Christ would return and I would be left behind for not accomplishing enough “stuff.”

I drug a lot of people down during that time.  If you weren’t a Republican then you were going to hell.  If you listened to anything other than Newsboys or DC Talk, then you were living in sin.  If you were gay, then you were unsavable.  If you dated girls, you were sexually immoral and living in sin.  Basically, if you participated in culture you might as well have slung a scarlet letter across your breast.

How did the curtain fall?  Christ broke me under the weight of my own self-righteousness.  Severely.  This is what it took for me to realize my absolute need for a Savior. 

I spent close to twenty years memorizing Bible verses, going to Church,  singing praise songs, and even participated in thorough discipleship studies through my youth group program.  What did I have to show for it?  A relationship with Christ that was based in nothing but fear and a book-smart knowledge of scripture with no real understanding of its relevance or application within my own life.  I was pathetic, in a nutshell.

Over the last four or five years, I have been a "recovering Christian."  I finally understand the true meaning behind the Gospel according to Jesus Christ (not Steven Christ).  I have strong mentors who I can lean on with stupid, but relevant questions.  I know that if I make a mistake, or two, or a hundred, that Christ’s forgiveness and grace remain constant even as I am inconsistent. 

Romans 10 v. 9-10 says, “If you confess with your mouth, ‘Jesus is Lord,’ and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.  For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved.”  I did that a long time ago!  This shows the complete ignorance I held regarding everything Jesus ever said about salvation!

Additionally, Romans 8 v. 38-39 says, “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers,  neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”  Nothing.  Nothing can separate us.  You remember that scene in A Good Will Hunting where Robin William’s character has to tell Will that “it wasn’t his fault” over and over again?  I had to pound this verse into my head in the same manner!

This brings me to my current issue.  I have no problem dealing with unbelievers.  No problem at all!  My biggest source of frustration, as I mentioned in my opening statement, is with fundamentalists/legalists.  They are a stumbling bock in my walk with Christ.  In their eyes, I am not saved enough.  I don’t do enough.  I don’t look like a Christian, and I don’t talk like a Christian.  I don’t eat like a Christian, vote like a Christian, dress like a Christian, or listen to music like a Christian.  And most importantly, I don’t “evenly distribute” the news of God’s wrath, judgment, and anger when speaking to unbelievers.  

Here is my message to these people.  God bless you in spite of yourselves.  You are a hurtful people, drowning under the weight of your own self-righteousness.  A beautiful consolation would be to watch as God allows all of those you have judged, condemned, and ridiculed into Heaven before letting you enter.

God loves me.  His blood was sufficient enough for my sins and all others who choose to accept the same.  Today, I am thankful that my judgement and salvation does not fall on your shoulders (the legalist).  Shame on you for bringing others down to your level.   

Forgive me for writing this.  I am human, and flawed.

The Anti-Christ Has Been Revealed (Again, and Again...)

The election is over right?  Is it safe to come out?

The political ads aren’t polluting my TV screen anymore so I guess we’re safe.  Wait, nope!  The Armageddon predictions are coming out of the woodwork now.  The doomsday preppers have emerged from the ground long enough to condemn all who are not making preparations for the end of the world now that President Barack Obama has been reelected.  He is, after all, the anti-Christ right?

You have every right to live your life the way you see fit.  If that means teaching your eight year old how to dry tomato seeds for future use as “currency,” then so be it.  If you feel it absolutely necessary to bury a metal cabin fifty feet under your back yard, fitted with fully automatic weapons and a flame-thrower door alarm system, then you have that right as an American citizen.  When you tell me that I, and others are un-Christian for not doing the same thing, then you’re going to get this frustrated response from me.  

Lets take a quick glance through history.

When President Franklin Roosevelt initiated relations with the former Soviet Union, he was thought to be under direct control of the anti-Christ.  Roosevelt was also responsible for the labeling of the “United Nations,” hence, a one-world government.  FAIL

All eyes turned to President John F. Kennedy.  He was a Catholic, so Protestant leaders were quick to label him the anti-Christ for that reason alone.  666 votes during the 1956 Democratic convention didn’t help his case much.  And finally, everyone really started to lose it when President Kennedy was killed by a gunshot wound to the head.  The fringe Christians were expecting Kennedy’s imminent resurrection.  Did it happen?  FAIL

Ronald Reagan’s shooter was under the impression that Reagan was the anti-Christ and had to die.  FAIL

Bill Clinton earned a place among the anti-Christ predictions due to his smooth tongue and deceit while in office.  FAIL

George W. Bush?  Yes, even George W. Bush made the cut.  Why?  Because someone came up with a mathematical equation (equalling 666) for George W. Bush’s name based off the Hebrew alphabet (which ended up being a mathematical error).  And we also had 9/11 which really didn’t help his cause among the Protestant predictors.  Did the prediction come to fruition?  FAIL

These are just a couple U.S. presidents.  How about regular ole’ predictions from your average guy?  How many times did Harold Camping set a date for the end of the world?  Four times right?  Those days came and passed.  FAIL

Now, Barack Obama, the evil “Muslim” president who “hates Israel” and wants to “take our guns” has been elected to a second term.  Only the Armageddonists  have the true answer as to why Black Hawk helicopters are buzzing around major cities in the U.S.A.  They are practicing maneuvers to take over our own country!  Really?  I mean really?  

Look, I have no doubt that every prophecy revealed in the book of Revelation is true.  I believe the entire Bible to be nothing but the purest truth ever printed.  I know Christ’s return is imminent.  This does not give me an excuse to live in fear, nor would I ever freak my family out with paranoia of this sort (anti-Christ predictions).  Are our efforts not better spent amongst those who are still lost?  How are we to accomplish this if we are hiding in the bushes guarding our property with a tank? 

Essentially, the dedication to propaganda of this magnitude is idolatrous and completely contrary to what Christ tells us in the Gospel.

Christ will return!  He told us that He would!  And we eagerly wait for that day!  He also told us that we have no idea when it will happen!  A bunch of people must have missed that part in scripture (Matthew 24:36).

Please understand where this frustration comes from.  I think that the use of prophecy and Armageddon to scare someone into Christianity (or your way of thinking) is deplorable.   When you, as a Christian, scare someone into the church you are practicing spiritual terrorism.

Check it out.  Barack Obama just barely squeezed out a win during this last election which means that your prediction is well on its way to failing.  Just like every other anti-Christ prediction throughout history.  When four years come and go, please, bow out of your fear and use another failed prediction as a lesson in humility.

God is in charge.  Prepare your family to live the life that Christ meant for them to live. 

My Little Black Heart

My inability to love others perfectly affects my ability to believe God’s perfect love for me.

There, I said it.  I am capable of love, but it is critically flawed.  I love my wife, but there are times when we disagree.  I love my kids, but there are times when I lose my patience.  I love my family, but there are times when we don’t see eye to eye.  I love my friends, but there are times when they annoy me.

My ability to love has matured tremendously, but I’d like to travel back in time for a moment.

Love is a funny emotion.  Remember using this term when you were a kid?  At sixteen years old, I used the word "love" because it was the strongest term available for showing the utmost admiration for another person.  It typically fell on a girl who may, or may not have had the same feeling for me.  I shared that word because I was appreciative that a human being, of the female type, actually took time out of her busy schedule to talk to me on the cordless phone and hang out with me on campus. 

Later in my teen years, and into my twenties, the term "love" came into play when the touch of another person sparked emotions I had never felt before.  "Love" was used as a level within the relationship to completely define our status as a couple.  17-31707-1. Pager lingo for some of you younger folks.  We "loved" each other deeply, until one or the other completely screwed up and the relationship was over.  "Love" went out the window pretty quickly.

I have built quite an impressive resume with this emotion since those early days.  I have used love to temporarily destroy the life of another human being.  I have wreaked havoc on others who came to love me.  I claimed the love of another and discovered the evil that resided within.  As a result, I concluded that the word I had used all my life had no true meaning. 

Numerous conversations and several solid mentors later, I am on the road to recovery.  I found that I had to come to terms with my inability to live up to Biblical moral law.  Part of my struggle had to do with seeking forgiveness for my terrible misuse of such an important emotion.  I felt that there was no way in the world God could love me after all of the terrible things I had done to others.  I felt that my own definition of "love" was irreparable and beyond salvageable.  Additionally, my upbringing led me to believe that God was unapproachable.  He was the CEO with an office on the top floor of the Sears building who only had time for meetings with people who were perfect and blameless.  Why would he come down to the lobby for a slob like me?

Romans 8 v. 37-39 says, “No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” 

Additionally, Romans 3 v. 20-24 says ,“For by works of the law no human being will be justified in his sight, since through the law comes knowledge of sin. But now the righteousness of God has been manifested apart from the law, although the Law and the Prophets bear witness to it — the righteousness of God through faith in Jesus Christ for all who believe. For there is no distinction: for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus.”

I cannot comprehend God’s love because God’s love is completely antithetical to human standards.  God’s love is perfect, unconditional by grace, and preserved through times of despair, angst and toil.  It is the type that no other human being is able to provide.  It is the kind worth fighting, and dying for.

I have a family now.  A beautiful, loving wife, and two beautiful little girls.  These three human beings, along with the realization of Christ’s’ love for me, have strengthened the way I am able to love ten fold.  My old way of thinking has no place within my new little world.

I have a responsibility to love my family, and others, effectively and without pause.  Just the way Christ loves me.  I will continue to lay it down until my last breath leaves.