Pornography: The Story of An Overused "Erase History" Button

"Never before in the history of telecommunications media in the United States has so much indecent (and obscene) material been so easily accessible by so many minors in so many American homes with so few restrictions."

                                - U.S. Department of Justice

The title might have made a few, or all of you blush.  I think that might be a good thing.  There is no doubt that this issue must mosh its way to the forefront.  Pornography, and porn addiction are a cancer within society.  It eats away at marriages, and sets a subconscious bar of perverted expectations for future relationships.  Not to mention the biblical implications related to an adulterous mindset and the personal turmoil suffered by a large percentage of the actors behind the camera.

Before I continue, I think it is important to point out a set of recent numbers related to pornography consumption (Research collected by Covenant Eyes):

* Men are 543% more likely to look at porn than females.

* Those who have ever committed adultery are 218% more likely to look at porn.

* Those who are happily married are 61% less likely to look at porn.

* Those with teen children at home are 45% less likely to look at porn.

* Regular church attenders are 26% less likely to look at porn than non-attenders, but those self-identified as “fundamentalists” are 91% more likely to look at porn.

** After an analysis of more than one million hits to Google’s mobile search sites, more than 1 in 5 searches are for pornography on mobile devices.  By 2015, mobile adult content and services are expected to reach $2.8 billion, mobile adult subscriptions will reach nearly $1 billion, and mobile adult video on tablets will triple worldwide.

*** More than half of boys and nearly a third of girls see their first pornographic images before they turn 13. In a survey of hundreds of college students, 93% of boys and 62% of girls said they were exposed to pornography before they turned 18. In the same survey, 83% of boys and 57% of girls said they had seen images of group sex online.

Finally, marriage:

The American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers reports that 56% of divorce cases involve one party having “an obsessive interest in pornographic websites.”

According to numerous studies, prolonged exposure to pornography leads to:

* a diminished trust between intimate couples

* the belief that promiscuity is the natural state

* cynicism about love or the need for affection between sexual partners

* the belief that marriage is sexually confining

* a lack of attraction to family and child-raising

We can’t let this issue remain as a festering sore in the dusty corners of our intimate relationships.  And we cannot continue to support the producers of these types of films by buying their products, or visiting their websites.  The heartache and turmoil associated with this addiction is not worth the time you took to consume the product.

I can speak of this issue first hand, as I have been a part of the consumer statistic.  Nothing good comes from pornography.  And nothing can destroy a relationship/marriage faster.

Right now, I’d like to introduce you to Madyson Marquette.  I heard her speak at my church a few months back and learned that she was involved in the porn industry as an actor in Los Angeles.  Her story hit home with me because I was bouncing around Hollywood, Santa Monica, and Burbank [recording our record] around the same time she was being trafficked through the industry.  

I think it is important that we hear Madyson's story.  Especially those of us who are guilty, or have been guilty of consuming pornographic material.  Anyone who has been there knows that the actors become nameless, and faceless.  They are merely there to serve a murky purpose in our own lives.  We have to remember that the actors are sons and daughters.  Fathers and mothers.  They’ve got a soul worth saving.  We all do.

In the end, we come to the understanding that none, not even those who you might consider the “worst,” are exempt from God’s forgiveness, love, and grace.  Matthew 11 v. 28 says, “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.”  The verse is not referring to a select few, or those who might be “better” than others.  The verse emphasizes "all."

Do yourself a favor and pick up a copy of Madyson’s book.  Stop by her Facebook page and say hi.  Share your own story.  Like, and share this article if you're down to support the cause.  Bring awareness to this issue in any way you can.

I have included a few links here for your convenience.  The following is a brief intro (By Madyson Marquette - "My Father's Daughter - Memoir of a Porn Star"):

***Every little girl dreams of growing up and being someone special. Some want to be a princess, some dream of their wedding day, and some even dream of being the first woman president. I, on the other hand had very different dreams.

I dreamed of surviving another night with my mom and dad.

I dreamed of having a different mom and dad.

I dreamed of growing up and being on my own so I did not have to endure the life I knew as a little girl.

I never intended to go into the adult film industry.

I never dreamed of being sold for money without my consent.

And yet, that’s exactly what happened.

So here begins my journey. It is one that started with survival, death, heartbreak, drugs, money, sex, and lies… but led to restoration, healing, forgiveness, and an unconditional love so unimaginable it is sometimes disbelieved when spoken of.

But it’s real. Oh, so real.***

Madyson’s Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Madyson-Marquette/723805694328953

Purchase Madyson’s Book: http://madysonmarquette.org

Check out the Stats: http://www.covenanteyes.com

Utilize the Resources: http://www.xxxchurch.com

Watch Brock Lawley’s Commentary: 

   

Appetite for a Soundtrack: Nevermind. Your Playlist is Your Legacy.

There is a scene in one of my top favorite movies, High Fidelity, where Dick walks into Rob’s apartment as Rob is rearranging his record collection.  Dick asks Rob how he is organizing the records.  Chronologically?  No.  Alphabetically?  Nope.

Autobiographically.

Profound.  Maybe even genius.  Why?  Because Rob must remember that in order to find the song “Landslide,” by Fleetwood Mac, he would have to recall that he bought the record for someone else in the Summer of 1983 and he didn’t give it to them for personal reasons [loosely quoted – High Fidelity].  Eat your heart out, Scrabble. 

Some might say that this peculiar way of organizing one small section of life is ridiculous.  I would argue that our memories, whether you are an avid music connoisseur or not, are tied up in songs.  For those of us who live and breathe music, there are songs in existence that are essentially the soundtrack for life-changing moments.  So the sentimentality wrapped into these tunes are scrapbook-like.  Smothered in memories.  And I’ll be honest with you.  I love it, whether the memories were good, or bad.

I posted a Richard Marx song on a social media account the other day, and a good friend of mine, Jeff, was able to rattle off exactly where he was and what he was doing when that song [Should’ve Known Better] was big on the radio.  This reveals the true power of music.  Who needs time travel when you’ve got your record collection? 

I have always felt the presence of great memories [and BAD] when the stylus touches wax.  I wanted to share an example, so I meandered down to my record collection to peruse for a moment or two.  

Example 1:  Bloodshed – “The Soft Spoken Words of Fallbrook”  -  7”

There was a kid named Justice who I hung out with on the planter in front of the principal’s office at Fallbrook High during my sophomore year of high school.  I was really starting to get into the idea of forming my own band.  I remember Justice used to say that he was in a band called Bloodshed and they were signed with Tooth and Nail records.  At the time, I had no idea who they were.  And I had no idea who the label was.  Very soon thereafter, I discovered that Tooth and Nail held several of my favorite bands on their roster.  This 7” reminds me of those times hangin’ out on the planter at school.  Justice:  If you’re reading this, I hope you are well!

Example 2:  Petra – “On Fire” -  12” 

I had to find Christian alternatives to Guns N’ Roses/Metallica [metal and rock n’ roll in general] because my parents didn’t want me to listen to vulgar lyrics.  Petra was about the closest Christian alternative there was at the time [that I knew of].  I owned the cassette.  I used to lay on the floor in my bedroom where I would play the song “Fired Up” over and over and over.  As corny as this music was, I can still play this record all they way through and mysteriously enjoy it.

Example 3/4:  Guns N’ Roses – “Welcome to the Jungle” + “Nightrain” -  7”

            Nirvana -  “Nevermind” -  12”

I owned everything that Guns N’ Roses [and Nirvana] put out.  I used to have to hide the cassettes because mom would find them and I’d have to throw them in the garbage.  I remember that I used to hide them on my wooden bed frame along-side the mattress.  I used to listen to the cassette singles on my Walkman before falling asleep at my grandma’s house.  I always rendered the tapes useless over a short period of time.  This habit continued into the Use Your Illusion records.  Additionally, the two records, seen in the photo (above - GnR & Nirvana), were both purchased in Europe during one of our tours.  Memories on top of memories.

Final Example 5:  New Found Glory – “Sticks and Stones” – 12”

I remember sitting in a hotel room in Australia [Warped Tour Australia] with all the guys from NFG when the label sent them the edits for the “My Friends Over You” video.  The NFG guys were trying to decide which edit would be appropriate for MTV.  There was a scene in the video where the music stops and Ian farts.  The decision revolved around whether or not the video containing the fart would run on-air.  So whenever I see this album or hear “My Friends Over You,” I am reminded of this particular night and all the fun we had trying to figure it all out.

I know you get the point.  There are songs that transport me back to Homecoming and others that sit me down in the hospital room where Ivy [my daughter] was born.  There are songs that put me in the middle of a SOMA mosh pit and others that put me on a stage in front of 35,000 people.  There are songs from bands who I have met that were pricks, and others from bands who were as down to earth as the next guy.  There are songs that blew the speakers out of the first truck I owned, and others that fueled some great times with the best of friends.

I wish I had the time to stop and write it all down.  I know I’d fill the pages of a thousand Moleskins. 

Give the gift of music to your children.  Make it so their playlist is nothing but a massive compilation of scrapbook pages filled with the best memories you could muster.

Thanks for sharing a little time with me here today.

Steven

We Are Impenetrable: To the Death

I wrote an extensive research paper last semester that covered the topic of pain as it relates to divorce.  My goal was to show that divorce, or more importantly, the absence of a mother or father [single parent household], places a heavy burden on the shoulders of each child.  As I read through the research, I found that the issue of residual pain was often skirted and other issues fell in line. 

For instance, many of those interviewed indicated that their parents' divorce was “the best for both of them” because the household became a poisonous dwelling.  Many indicated that they felt indifference when their parents split and felt no residual pain as the years passed by.

There is no doubt that unhappy marriages cause just as much damage as an actual parental split.  But I’d like to go ahead and throw up the “BS” sign if a large portion of the interviewees say that they feel no residual pain.

Every single person I know who has fought through a broken home has readily admitted that they have been affected in one way or another.  There is pain.  There is anger.  There is hurt.  And just like anything else, we bury it all under our defenses as each new day presents itself.

Countless songs have been written, diary entries penned, and words of anger thrown.

So why do many others deny the hurt that has to exist?

As I was thinking about writing this today, I couldn’t help but remember that human beings are experts at masking pain.  If I’m having a bad day, you’re not going to see it on my face.  I’m hiding it.  I’m a pro.  I can’t afford to let you see it and I don’t feel like explaining it.  

C.S. Lewis wrote a book entitled, “The Problem of Pain.”  I’ve always found great comfort in his writing.  He states, “Mental pain is less dramatic than physical pain, but it is more common and also more hard to bear. The frequent attempt to conceal mental pain increases the burden: it is easier to say 'My tooth is aching' than to say 'My heart is broken.”

Such is the modern world.  We refuse to communicate.  And communication is what we need the most (but with whom?).

Lewis goes on to say, “We can ignore even pleasure. But pain insists upon being attended to. God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: it is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world.” 

I always see a reminder in this statement.  Community is necessary, and I love the people who choose to listen to me wholeheartedly.  But for some reason, it is hard for me to release all that I’ve got when I know that the recipient of my conversation is just as broken as I am.

I’ve never been good at talking to God.  But I know that He hears me perfectly and He is perfect.  I know He listen intently, and His love is unbreakable. 

 

Essentially, I am reminded that all are in need of a Saviour.  I hope that this might be a reminder for you today as well. 

Thanks for listening.

Steven

Watch: Stay Together for the Kids  

Curtain Call: The Last Update

I know most of you have been following the updates on Facebook but I figured I’d go ahead and cap it all off right now. 

The surgery was a success.  The inadequate parts of Elden’s heart were mended in surgery over a period of four or five hours.  He will attend yearly checkups for the rest of his life to monitor the condition.  During our stay at the hospital, he was given a genetics test and it was discovered that he has DiGeorge Syndrome, or 22q deletion.

At first, the new announcement seemed like another blow to the jaw.  As time has passed, I found that my concern was selfish and quite petty as I compared his circumstances to others that were present at Children’s.  So rather than inundate my friends and family with a barrage of updates on Elden’s progression, as it relates to his congenital heart defect and 22q setbacks, we will, instead, celebrate his victories and his life equally alongside our two daughters.  

To put this 22q thing into a nutshell:  Heather and I will have to detect certain symptoms and respond accordingly.  By all accounts (from genetics Ph.D’s), his particular case appears to be mild.  Only time will tell.  Check out the 22q page for more info.   

What does this really mean for us?  Nothing.  We are charged with rearing him just like any other normal kid.  Elden loves music.  He can watch me play the guitar for an hour straight and he smiles when I sing New Amsterdams songs.  He loves playing with his sisters and mommy makes him smile with the sound of her voice.  He loves his squeaky toys and is mesmerized by Elmo.  Derek and Emily discovered a sound that he loved instantaneously.  Fortunately, Mary taught me how to make the sound a few years back so now I can cheer him up within a matter of seconds.

What I love most of all is that he loves to communicate.  He is already offering up squeaky, giggly responses to my ridiculous inquiries.  I’ll ask him if he feels like joining me for a Stella while we watch the Broncos beat down another rival.  Every once in a while I’ll see if he’d like a piece of albacore nigiri.  And I know he’s always down for a burrito!

So ya’ got it in a nutshell.  Elden will be playin’ ball and hating mathematics right next to your kids.  Maybe he’ll be patrolling the city streets with your friendly local law enforcement agency.  Or maybe he’ll walk onto a stage with an instrument in front of a packed arena like his old man used to do. 

The kid is five months old and he’s already hurdled an immeasurable obstacle.  God is on his side.  We’ve got his back.  Nothing can stop him.  

Cheers.

The Press Family

Romans 5 v. 3-4  ....we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope....

I Will Never Meet Your Expectations: The Story of a Bonafide Screw-up

I reviewed my list of past blog topics the other day and felt it necessary to address a glaring reality:  I am an expert at not following my own advice.

Christians will never live up to your expectations.  I will never live up to your expectations.  If you knew me, you would know that I have failed you on a daily basis.  I have failed you in the past, and I will fail you in the future.  

I believe this is part of the reason why the church has suffered so much loss.  Secular progressives have successfully ascribed the perception of perfection to the Christian population.  So when we mess up, they are quick to point out how we are flawed and, therefore, unauthentic and hypocritical.  You cannot look to us as examples of perfection.  You have to look at God.

The bible was not written as a law book for Christian living.  It was written so that sin might be exposed and a Savior might be revealed.  If anything, as the Christian reads through the bible, he comes to an understanding of how pathetic a human being he really is.  He realizes the need for a Savior. 

Those who make an attempt at earthly perfection through strict adherence to biblical law have missed the mark entirely.  Perfection is unattainable.  Only one man was able to achieve perfection and that was Jesus Christ.  He died so that you would not perish for being wholly imperfect.

So as I write on the topics of marriage, communication, religion, politics, pride, moral issues, and randomness, know that I have failed miserably in every regard.

This Christmas, I am thankful that God chose to send His son to die in my stead.  Because of Him, my imperfection becomes perfection.  There will never be enough thanks and my own works will never suffice.  His sacrifice was more than enough.

Secular Extremism: The New Religion of Nothingness

A Douglas County [Colorado] charter school will no longer participate in a Christmas donation program for disadvantaged children because of the threat of a lawsuit. “The issue is not the gift, but the religious message that comes along with it, which acts as a catch for the generosity,” says Kimberly Saviano.

Christianity is under a full-frontal attack by secular extremists.  Every waking moment is spent at the drawing board figuring out new ways to wipe God’s name off the face of the earth.  Remember when “Merry Christmas” fell under attack?  Now, you’d be hard pressed to find a commercial on television highlighting our beloved traditional greeting and the actual meaning of the day has been all but erased from the pages of our history books. As the years have passed, retail outlets have quietly abandoned “Merry Christmas” in favor of “Happy Holidays.”  Spineless, to say the least.  

Photo By: The Atheist Antidote

The [school Academy] story I mentioned above is merely one small example out of the thousands I could mention.  I bring light to it because this case is unraveling right next door.  The American Humanist Association has threatened to sue the SkyView Academy for collecting shoeboxes filled with toys, candy, and hygiene items for distribution to children around the world.  The Samaritan’s Purse, a non-denominational Christian organization, is responsible for the distribution of these shoeboxes.  SkyView students are not required to participate.

Let me say it like this:  The American Humanist Association wants to sue the school for contributing to a charity because the facilitating organization is a non-denominational Christian church.  They would rob children of these gifts because they are collected and distributed by a Christian organization.

Do you feel any steam coming out of your ears?  If the answer is yes, then do something about it!  Brave parents held a rally on public property around the school and collected shoeboxes in spite of the decision to cancel this charity event.  Five-hundred boxes were collected.  

Don’t think it affects you?  The war on Christianity is going to land right on your doorstep and it’ll be uglier than a flaming bag of dog turds.  Remove your head from underneath the social media blinders long enough to read the paper and take a good look at what is going on. 

I understand the comfort that exists in the reclusive life we create through online mediums.  It allows us to escape the evil of this world.  Just remember that the atrocities merely expand as your head remains buried in the sand.  It doesn’t stop.

Stand up!  Say something!  Get involved!  You’re being steam-rolled by a minority of people who believe in absolutely nothing and it doesn’t have to happen.

Watch this video entitled "One Nation Under Atheism (Founding Faith)" by Brock Lawley.

Thanks for stayin' with me here today.

Steven

Psalm 14 v. 1 says, “The fool says in his heart, ‘There is no God.’  They are corrupt, they do abominable deeds, there is none who does good.”

John 3 v. 18-19 says, “Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only Son of God. And this is the judgment: the light has come into the world, and people loved the darkness rather than the light because their works were evil.”