We Are Impenetrable: To the Death

I wrote an extensive research paper last semester that covered the topic of pain as it relates to divorce.  My goal was to show that divorce, or more importantly, the absence of a mother or father [single parent household], places a heavy burden on the shoulders of each child.  As I read through the research, I found that the issue of residual pain was often skirted and other issues fell in line. 

For instance, many of those interviewed indicated that their parents' divorce was “the best for both of them” because the household became a poisonous dwelling.  Many indicated that they felt indifference when their parents split and felt no residual pain as the years passed by.

There is no doubt that unhappy marriages cause just as much damage as an actual parental split.  But I’d like to go ahead and throw up the “BS” sign if a large portion of the interviewees say that they feel no residual pain.

Every single person I know who has fought through a broken home has readily admitted that they have been affected in one way or another.  There is pain.  There is anger.  There is hurt.  And just like anything else, we bury it all under our defenses as each new day presents itself.

Countless songs have been written, diary entries penned, and words of anger thrown.

So why do many others deny the hurt that has to exist?

As I was thinking about writing this today, I couldn’t help but remember that human beings are experts at masking pain.  If I’m having a bad day, you’re not going to see it on my face.  I’m hiding it.  I’m a pro.  I can’t afford to let you see it and I don’t feel like explaining it.  

C.S. Lewis wrote a book entitled, “The Problem of Pain.”  I’ve always found great comfort in his writing.  He states, “Mental pain is less dramatic than physical pain, but it is more common and also more hard to bear. The frequent attempt to conceal mental pain increases the burden: it is easier to say 'My tooth is aching' than to say 'My heart is broken.”

Such is the modern world.  We refuse to communicate.  And communication is what we need the most (but with whom?).

Lewis goes on to say, “We can ignore even pleasure. But pain insists upon being attended to. God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: it is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world.” 

I always see a reminder in this statement.  Community is necessary, and I love the people who choose to listen to me wholeheartedly.  But for some reason, it is hard for me to release all that I’ve got when I know that the recipient of my conversation is just as broken as I am.

I’ve never been good at talking to God.  But I know that He hears me perfectly and He is perfect.  I know He listen intently, and His love is unbreakable. 

 

Essentially, I am reminded that all are in need of a Saviour.  I hope that this might be a reminder for you today as well. 

Thanks for listening.

Steven

Watch: Stay Together for the Kids