Fundamentalist Me

This drawing, entitled “Fundamentalist” by Robert O. Hodgell, serves as a mirror into my own life.  I have lived through this piece. I have been on both sides of the mask. It was absolutely necessary for me to be that man, crushing others with misguided words bent on a skewed ideology. I had to be that man so that God could truly break me under the severe weight of my own self-righteousness.  When I broke, I broke hard.

This drawing serves as a reminder as to why God became unattractive to me when I was younger.  God didn’t like boys to go on dates with girls unless it involved thirty other Christian teens in a group.  And God didn’t like PG movies unless, of course, it received the thumbs up from Focus on the Family.  God preferred Steven Curtis Chapman to Guns N’ Roses and despised the idea of attending a rock concert that took place anywhere but a church.  God hated homosexuals, anyone who wasn’t a Republican, or anyone who wasn’t Christian. Nothing was good enough, ever. 

Truth be told?  I thought Steven Curtis Chapman and Michael W. Smith were jokes. Toby Mac was the biggest fraud I had ever seen.  At the time, I would have rather burned in hell than listen to that garbage.

This piece reminds me that the fundamentalist mentality still exists.  Honestly? I struggle with these types of people because it reminds me of the chains I chose to bind myself with when I was younger.  I sank quickly under the weight of the law. I held no concept of the beauty of the gospel.  I spent thirty-plus years studying, memorizing, applying, and never once understood the true application of what I was reading. I spent a lot of those years doing exactly what is seen here in the art. This is why you are going to hell.  This is why liberals are wrong.  This is why homosexuality is wrong.  This is why cussing is wrong.  This is why abortion is wrong. This is why I am right, and you are wrong.

 Does this sound kind of ironic?  I am a professional sinner telling other sinners why they are wrong, and I am right. 

This is not a plea to bow out of everything you are passionate about.  Quite the opposite.  I am still passionate about the issues I have spoken to in the past.  My wife can attest to this. My discovery of God’s grace has simply led me to other venues.  I see people differently, regardless of who they are, or what they represent.  I still hate sin, but have come to love the sinner. 

Hodgell drew other pieces that complete the story.  His depiction of the crucifixion reminded me of the most important truth of all.  A truth that Mr. Fundamentalist fails to see under the tip of his own finger. Christ’s own words, “It Is Finished.” Oh, the joy of true freedom!  Robert Kolb writes, “God promises righteousness and freedom to sinners. That promise contradicts ordinary human expectation. Sinners ought to receive punishment rather than pardon, incarceration rather than freedom. But by the double work of his law and gospel, God teaches sinners to close their eyes to ordinary human expectations and the conclusions of common sense and to open their ears to the promise which offers life and freedom.”

 It took utter ruin to realize this truth.  I still grapple with it, even today. But God’s love is that perfect. It is that flawless. It is un-human.

This is an ugly reminder, and a joyous celebration all in one.